Thoroughly Modern Pfauci

Two Covid fanatics become disenchanted with their idol as he exits the stage into retirement

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Lyrics:

Thoroughly Modern Pfauci

Thoroughly Modern Pfauci
He was the doc for us
Bubbly and full of promise
We loved how he made a fuss

He pushed the PCR
Always went way too far
So glad he kept us in line
Congeniality
Beamed with vitality
Convinced that he was so divine

Thoroughly Modern Pfauci
mRNA was cool
We took his sacred jabs
Bowed to his hard-line rule

Followed his protocol
Never restrained our gall
Thought sure that we’d always thrive
Now we’ve come home to roost
Took way too many boosts
Hope we can still stay alive

Thoroughly Modern Pfauci
Some say he’s lost his touch
But we always bow to Tony
We really don’t know much

We’re in pain, chaos reigns
Dreadful rumors, grow like tumors
Nothing’s gained
Sordid tabloid sleaze, we declare
He’s nothing but a damn nightmare

Now there’s talk, yes I’ll walk
Heated frictions, from his restrictions
I won’t balk
Tony’s title is no handsome sell
The tacky doctor straight from hell

He has done us wrong, the fallout is too strong
Pfauci needs to pack his bags and move along
We take no delight, in his tragic flight
Pfauci’s a loose cannon in the night

So abrupt, his number’s up
First recruited, now he’s booted
He’s so corrupt
Beaten down and lost his royal seat
Now there’s no more time for him to cheat

Thoroughly Modern Pfauci
Time we gave him the sack
Just too much of a nuisance
Now he must watch his back
A doctor too sassy, with manners not classy
He’s just too modern to keep
He failed in his duty, so perfectly snooty
His actions were tawdry and cheap

Thoroughly Modern Pfauci
We deem he’s lost our trust
Thoroughly Shocking Pfauci
He’s not the doc
He’s not the doc
He’s not the doc
For us!